Week 2 – Please ~ Somebody Make it STOP!

As I sat in my chair, trying to stay perfectly still and ignore the cold leather that was touching my ankle, I was reminded, I’m assuming by my Subby, not to move. This was right before I felt my jaw sliding down and now with my mouth perched open, I realized that I needed to swallow, but could I? Would I fail this week’s assignment by NOT remaining perfectly still? No! Absolutely Not! I won’t give in. I didn’t move.

Two minutes later my mouth was dryer than I can ever remember. I had to close my mouth, I had to swallow. Wait, I can ignore this. No I can’t. Yes, I can. It’s just my old blueprint. No, it’s my mouth…it feels like it’s full of sand. But if I move, that’s one more day that I let my body win over my mind. I can do this. No you can’t. I’m breathing dust. I have to swallow. I can’t take it anymore. I’m doing it! I’m doing it NOW!

So, out of sheer frustration, I did it. I closed my mouth took a big swallow, brushed my tongue across my teeth and lips, then I shifted my foot so that I could no longer feel the cold leather against my naked ankle.

I was only 5 minutes into my 15 minute ‘Sit’ and clearly this was not going as well as I had hoped. “Pull it together, Queenie! You can do this!”  That was Day 1 of Week 2.

The rest of the week began to get better and I was finally able to shift my focus onto this week’s assignment…which was…drum-roll please…INHIBIT ALL THOUGHT!  REALLY????  (With a side-eye).

Are you serious? You have GOT TO be kidding me. How the heck am I gonna do that? Oh Lord, here we go again.

   ~~~

This week showed me a lot about me. There were definitely areas of resistance, places where I wanted to make adjustments to the instructions, and there were even times when I just wanted to shut everything off and go numb.

Yes, I’m still aware that was my old blueprint trying to keep me stuck, but honestly there were times this week when I wanted to be.

Fortunately, that Scroll #1 has a way of snatching you out of the old ‘headspace’ and dragging you into reality, in a good way. LOL.

I’m so grateful for the MKMMA because I honestly cannot even imagine how anyone can re-write their lifelong blueprint without being CONSTANTLY poked and prodded into staying awake and clear about your hearts truest and most honest desires. QueenieSignatureRed

I’m very intrigued about ‘WHO” I will be when this journey is complete. I am certain that I will emerge a far better, more powerful, more radiant ME…that might even know how to sit still! 😉

 

You gotta tell me what you think!

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